Binders Full of Women

Presidential Debate

John Paraskevas/Newsday/MCT

Mitt Romney, the Republican candidate for the 2012 election stirred up some controversy during the October 17 debate with a comment about school stationary and the female gender.
“And I—and I went to my staff, and I said, ‘How come all the people for these jobs are—are all men.’ They said: ‘Well, these are the people that have the qualifications.’ And I said: ‘Well, gosh, can’t we—can’t we find some—some women that are also qualified?’ And—and so we—we took a concerted effort to go out and find women who had backgrounds that could be qualified to become members of our cabinet. I went to a number of women’s groups and said: ‘Can you help us find folks,’ and they brought us whole binders full of women.”
My question is- why are we limiting this magical solution to just qualified women? Why are we only discovering this wonderful use of binders now? Think back to all of the pesky women in the past- tons of trouble could’ve been avoided if we just stuck them in a binder!
Harriet Tubman, Joan of Arc, Queen Elizabeth I, Rosa Parks, Harriet Beecher Stowe, the list goes on and on! All of the nonsense that these women caused could’ve been prevented SO EASILY.
We’ve all heard about Hillary Clinton. I mean- can you think of a better Binder Case? She should’ve been grateful with her position as First Lady…but then she just had to go on and become Secretary of State. Do you know what this means!? She has a say in foreign affairs! President Bill Clinton made quite a few mistakes involving women, but not putting Hillary in a binder was probably his biggest one.
Annoying things like “women’s suffrage” needlessly marred our society all because we hadn’t fully realized the purpose of the all-powerful binder!
Anyone, anyone at all- I ask you to please enlighten the world on how to put women in binders. It would be an incredibly useful skill to have…especially when one thinks about a few teachers…
Imagine it…a world in which upstart women with world-changing views and ideas are kept in binders. Things like cancer radiation, x-ray technology, disposable diapers, White Out, Kevlar, and even chocolate chip cookies wouldn’t exist.
It’s a good thing that binders were developed by a man!

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